You say race is invalid and irrelevant but miscegenation laws were very real indeed. And you miss the point entirely which is that to those who argued inter racial marriage was anathema their sense of what marriage is or is not was also very clear and very real.
Also to add that class barriers to marriage were also very real in times and places, albeit on occasion softened by ‘convention.
Let’s note as well that by bringing non consummation into the picture you implicitly tilt this into the area of having children which by the way was what the issue of non consummation clearly was about. Yet plenty marry who cannot or do not want marriage so that supposedly gender specific aspect is a bit of a diversion.